One of the Highest Forms of Resilience

Hi Friend,

Can you accept what you don’t like? I’m not talking about accepting things you can change but accepting things that you CAN’T change. Like accepting where you live, how tall or short you are, genetics, the family you were born into, the life events that have happened to you, failures, mistakes, or circumstances you can’t change. 

It’s not easy but acceptance is a skill you should develop. Doing so will not only improve your well being but also your resilience. In my opinion, acceptance is one of the highest forms of resiliency


Don’t get it twisted, acceptance is not giving up or a passive task but quite the opposite. It’s the action of embracing strong emotions and then channeling your focus on things that can be influenced. It’s a difficult task to not dwell on something you wish could be different! 


For example, I love vacationing. I mean who doesn’t? However, vacationing is a painful reminder of what I can’t do. There’s no other time I feel the loss of my physical strength more than when I see my family playing in the pool, splashing in the ocean, horseback riding, snorkeling around the reef, playing catch with the football, jetskiing, or building a sandcastle. I often feel like a spectator on the sidelines when all I want is to be in the action. 


(FYI I don’t want pity. I certainly don’t want someone to miss out on something fun just because I can’t do it. I share this experience to demonstrate how I use acceptance in my life.)


I’ve come to realize the more I focus on what I wish I could do, the more hurt I feel. Leading me down a rabbit hole of frustration and what if’s. How to stop this is by not burying it but embracing it. Remind yourself you can’t change it. So why focus on something that brings you down and can’t be undone? Then turn your focus to what you can do. Appreciate what you do have. Celebrate the joy & accomplishments of others. 


By doing this I discovered the more I accept the more peace I find. The more I cherish what my family is experiencing and the less I worry about what I wish I could do. I know I am blessed. So letting thoughts that tell me otherwise is only detrimental to my well-being. 


Acceptance allows you to see everything as it is without judgment. It gives you more mental space to be grateful for what you have. It allows you to focus on what you can do. Clarity to understand it could be worse. 


Acceptance is a strength and not a weakness. It’s a difficult skill that can be developed. It takes time and patience but it’s worth the work. To add more acceptance into your life, start by embracing & processing your feelings. Questioning your thoughts. Is this thought helping or hurting me? Can this be changed or is it out of my control? Become present with where you are and appreciate it.

Take care 👍

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