The Desire to Be Valued

Hey Friend!

 

As someone with a physical disability, what I long for most is for people to see my value. We all want to be appreciated for who we are, not underestimated based on superficial judgments. 

 

One of the greatest gifts is to value a person as they are. Because no matter our circumstances or differences, we all have something wonderful to offer. My wife, family and friends do this – they see me as a loving husband, dad, friend, movie buff, and sports fan.

 

But too often, strangers become uncomfortable around me. Some avoid me. Others stare awkwardly. They’ve assumed my wife is a nurse, or that my kids are siblings. This hurts, as they dismiss me without knowing me. 

 

I believe this stems from lack of experience with someone like me. It’s difficult for them to see past my disability. Feeling awkward is understandable, but to truly see people, we must lead with curiosity. 

 

I’ll never forget my first plane trip with my wife. The flight attendant asked her, “Would he like a drink?” My wife responded, “Why don’t you ask him yourself? Don’t assume someone can’t speak for themselves because they have a disability.”

 

The attendant tried explaining herself, but my wife wanted to make a point to never make assumptions. She learned a lesson! My wife won’t hesitate to speak up when she feels there’s been injustice.

 

The best way to show value is to seek to know someone before judging. Valuing people goes deeper than kindness.

 

Your friend,

  
Chris


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Embracing Life’s Twists and Turns

Hey Friend!
 
Thirteen years ago, on October 16th, everything changed. Picture me, a young, energetic 18-year-old on the football field, running at full speed. In an instant, I went from that spirited player to being paralyzed from the neck down. My world shattered, and along with my physical abilities, I lost a chunk of my identity. I was no longer just an athletic guy; my self-image took a hit.
 
But here’s the thing – life’s twists and turns don’t have to break us. With immense courage, I embraced my new reality. It wasn’t easy. I had to let go, grieve, and then rebuild myself piece by piece. And you know what? I found my inner strength, my resilience, and a newfound purpose.
 
I realized that pivotal moments, even the excruciatingly painful ones, can be transformative if we let them. We can’t control when these moments happen, but we can control how we respond. Instead of shying away from discomfort, I encourage you to lean into it. Feel the pain, take your time to heal, and then reinvent yourself with purpose.
 
My injury could have been a tragedy, but I chose a different path. I used it as a stepping stone for growth, a chance to discover my true grit. Life may throw curveballs our way, but catching them and turning them into fuel for transformation can lead to extraordinary growth.
 
Thank you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery. I appreciate each and every one of you. Let’s keep embracing life’s challenges together and soaring to new heights!
 
Sending you all the positive vibes and strength,
 
 
Chris


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Reviving the Lost Art of Unwinding

Hey Friend!

 
I am reporting live from the tropical haven of Punta Cana, where every moment feels like a slice of paradise.
 
I can’t help but reminisce about my recent trip to Italy, a whirlwind of experiences that I embarked upon with my parents. It was more than just a vacation; it was a celebration of my dad’s well-deserved retirement, a chance to tick off items from our shared bucket list, and above all, an opportunity to create cherished memories together.
 
Now, in Punta Cana, the vibe is different, but the essence remains the same. This trip is a testament to the art of relaxation, a masterclass in unwinding amidst the beauty of nature. It’s about reconnecting with my wonderful family, sharing heartfelt moments, and crafting memories that will be etched in our hearts forever.
 
You know, no matter who you are, there’s an innate longing for adventure within us all. It’s this craving that makes us feel truly alive, reminding us of the vibrant spirit that resides within. Yet, in today’s fast-paced world, where life often feels like it’s pedal to the metal – a race to accomplish as much as you can, as fast as you can – taking time off becomes a rare luxury. It’s as if the world forgot the importance of hitting the pause button, of cherishing the moments that truly matter.
 
It baffles me that people don’t even use all their vacation days! Each day off is a chance for a new adventure, a new memory waiting to be made. It’s a chance to escape the rush, to breathe in a new culture, or simply to sit by the beach and watch the waves kiss the shore.
 
As I lounge by the beach here in Punta Cana, sipping my piña colada and marveling at the endless horizon, I’m reminded of the importance of these moments. Life often rushes by, but it’s in these instances of pure serenity and shared laughter that we truly find ourselves.
 
I encourage each one of you to find your own moments of bliss, whether it’s an epic adventure across continents, a camping trip or a simple evening spent with loved ones at a new restaurant. Every memory counts, every smile shared adds a chapter to our life’s story.
 
Sending you all the relaxation vibes and family warmth from Punta Cana. Stay tuned on social media for more updates as we continue our journey of connection and joy!
 
Your friend,
 
Chris


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Finding Beauty in Brokenness: Lessons from Florence 🎨

Greetings from Florence, Friend!
 
Overlooking Florence from the Piazzale Michelangelo, I’m reminded that beauty often comes from brokenness. 
 
This city has been through hell and back during its long history. Plagues, wars, floods, fires – you name it. Repeated destruction, followed by rebirth and renewal. 
 
Like a phoenix, Florence rose from the ashes again and again. Now, the result of those cycles is breathtaking. The elegant Duomo, the Ponte Vecchio, the gorgeous sunsets. Beauty forged through hardship.
 
This resonates with my own story. My spinal cord injury felt like a personal apocalypse at first. My dreams for the future, shattered in an instant. 
 
With time and perspective, though, I learned to find new hope, new dreams. Emerging from that “fire” changed, but not destroyed.
 
We all experience twists of fate that break us. The question is what we build from the wreckage. How will your fire refine you?
 
Florence taught me that our most powerful, beautiful selves can rise when we alchemize hard experiences into wisdom. Don’t let adversity break you. Let it open your heart and broaden your vision.
 
Healing takes time, just like Florence wasn’t rebuilt in a day. Give yourself grace, and step forward bravely into your new normal, whatever that may be. The beauty will come.
 
At golden hour in Florence, all visible flaws fade away. Light shines on its monuments, its people, its enduring spirit. What if you saw yourself and others in that same light? 
 
So that’s your call to action: how can you turn your current struggle into art? Is there a way for your story to uplift others who feel alone in their pain? You have the paintbrush – begin crafting your masterpiece. 🎨🖌️🖼️

 
Ciao for now,

Chris

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Hey There, I Owe You An Explanation

Hi Friend,

I hope this message finds you well. It’s been way too long since you’ve heard from me, and I owe you an apology for my radio silence.
 
The truth is, life has taken me on quite the rollercoaster ride lately. I’ve been jet-setting around, working on this brand new speech I’m super stoked about – it’s called “A No Excuse Life,” and I was able to deliver it last week with rave reviews 🙏.
 
And that’s not all! I’ve been diligently crafting a kick-butt video course that I believe will blow your socks off. Seriously, I’ve poured my heart and soul into it, and I’m itching to share it with you.
 
But wait, there’s more! I’ve been creating something special – a mastermind community where we can all join forces to crush our goals. The synergy there is gonna be off the charts! Be sure to email me if this interests you. 
 
Oh, and did I mention the fundraiser I’m cooking up called Tailgate Toss? It’s happening on November 4th, and I’d be excited if you could join in and support our family wheelchair camp.
 
Now, amidst all this hustle and bustle, being a dad and a husband remains my top priority. Balancing family life with these projects has been a wild ride, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
 
I want you to know that I’ve missed our interactions dearly, and I’m gearing up to shower you with inspiration galore. Life taught me a valuable lesson during this time – sometimes, we’ve gotta hit pause, catch our breath, and come back stronger than ever. 🚀
 
So, from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry for the silence, and I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me. Our journey is far from over, and I can’t wait to catch up with each one of you soon.
 
Now, here’s the action part: I’d love to hear from you. What topics or ideas are burning in your mind right now? Reply to this email and let’s start a conversation. Your input is incredibly valuable to me.
 
Your friend,
 
Chris 😊

Think About What You Are Thinking About

Hi Friend,

Why is change so hard? Well let’s face it… moving from what’s known to the unknown is uncomfortable. But any significant change worth making requires enduring discomfort. Because we are conditioning our minds and bodies to behave differently than what it’s been taught/programmed to do by us. It takes a concentrated effort to change what we are subconsciously doing. It’s crazy to believe but 95% of what we do is subconscious! So, unless we start thinking about what we are thinking about then change will be nearly impossible. 

 

Everything starts with a thought before there’s an action. There’s this loop of thought < action < emotion then back to < thought in a loop. Over an extended period of time this loop then gets hardwired into our bodies. So if you keep thinking negative thoughts your body will become accustomed to negative thinking & feeling. So much so that you will seek it out subconsciously, like an addiction to negativity. 

 

Here’s what’s fascinating 🧐 Our bodies cannot tell the difference between experiences that are reality or the imaginary. Between the past, present, and future. Dr. Joe Dispenza said in order to change your personal reality then you need to change your personality. Your personality consists of how you think, how you act, and how you feel.

The good news is then we can change our entire life by elevating our thoughts. Trading our shame, blame, guilt, and anger for emotions like gratitude, joy, or love. We can think ourselves into an entirely different person, but that takes a substantial amount of awareness to be conscious of the unconscious.

So are you going to be defined by a vision of the future or are you going to live by the memories of the past? 

 

This entire message is my shortened Cliff Note from this great podcast episode on the Ed Mylett Show with Dr. Joe Dispenza about unlocking your mind’s full potential. I encourage you to give it a listen. 

 Best,

Chris
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31 Lessons Learned Over 31 Years

I celebrated 31 years of life this past Monday. Time feels like it’s going faster and faster. I swear it was not very long ago when I turned 21. I have learned many things along the way.  In fact I will share 31 lessons that have impacted me. 

 

  1. This moment is what’s real and important, tomorrow is an idea. 
  2. Personal responsibility is the key to being resilient. 
  3. True strength is displayed through your character, not your muscles. 
  4. The quality of your relationships is a reflection of the quality of your life. 
  5. There’s no shame in asking for help. 
  6. If you only focus on what’s wrong you will never see what’s right. 
  7. With every difficult situation ask yourself “What can I do?”
  8. When you are lacking purpose, ask yourself “Who is counting on me?”
  9. Get rid of all excuses, they only hold you back. 
  10. Trying and failing feels a lot better in the end than not trying at all. 
  11. The greatest gift you can give is your attention and appreciation. 
  12. Live as if your days are numbered because they are. 
  13. Always speak your goals and dreams out loud, manifesting works. 
  14. You are the average of the 5 closest people you spend time with. 
  15. Big people help others feel bigger. 
  16. Make time for reflection and restoration. 
  17. Words have the power to change worlds. 
  18. Truest thing about you is what God says about you. 
  19. Give selflessly what you hope to receive. 
  20. How you make people feel is how people will remember you. 
  21. External remedies and accomplishments will never solve internal problems. 
  22. Accept what’s out of your control in order to give more energy to what’s in your control. 
  23. Be quick to apologize & forgive then learn from it & forget. 
  24. Time is never wasted when spent with those you love. 
  25. Manage your emotions & impulses so they don’t manage you. 
  26. If you don’t like where you are, then do something about it. 
  27. Instead of criticizing and blaming others, look in the mirror. 
  28. Meekness is not weakness. 
  29. Read everyday. 
  30. You can’t influence someone who doesn’t feel heard & understood. 
  31. Your life is as rich as the lives you enrich. 

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This is Why you Need to Stop Waiting

Hi Friend,


I’ve heard this odd and sad illustration about a frog 🐸 . If you drop a frog in boiling water it will jump out immediately. If you put it in cool water and slowly heat it up to boiling the frog will STAY and boil to death. Poor frog. Sadly, in a lot of ways we can be the frog that never jumps. We start feeling the heat from life but it regresses slowly enough to not make a change. It’s so gradual you miss it until your life is in flames.


There are many stories of dramatic events leading to dramatic changes. A big moment that forces a person awake to start living with purpose. I’ve experienced this firsthand with my spinal cord injury. It spurred me to make major changes and enlightened me to the strength of the human will and how to live a significant life. For others it’s a cancer diagnosis, car accident, sports injury, being fired, the loss of a loved one, and much more. But… What if you never have some life altering event that shakes you awake?

 

There’s a less recognizable adversity that can be even more destructive. It’s a silent adversity that’s creeps in. The kind that slowly infects you without realizing it. Until finally one day you realize how deep of a mess you are in. You scratch your head wondering, “How did I get here?” Or “This wasn’t how my life was supposed to go.” It’s death by a million papercuts.

 

This adversity looks like a marriage that slowly drifts apart to the brink of a divorce, weight gain, financial debt, staying too long in a job you don’t like, mental illness, and unmet dreams & goals from waiting for the “right time”. What happens is we gradually make minor compromises, slightly dropping our standards and expectations, and then numbing our hurt and disappointment with gratitude or past accomplishments. Telling ourselves that “When ___ happens THEN ___.”


Today and for the rest of 2023, I want you to stop waiting and start working towards a tangible solution. Waiting without working a plan is simply wishful thinking. It’s blind faith. If you want a breakthrough then it’s on you to break through. It’s time to stop the bleeding. Draw a line in the sand and tell yourself enough is enough! Change starts NOW, not tomorrow, or after the weekend. Make a plan then work the plan. Lean on others for support. Know you didn’t get into this situation overnight and you certainly aren’t getting out of it overnight. What I constantly remind myself is that 👉 your future will take care of itself when you take care of today.

 

Get to work,

 

Chris

How to Make Disciplined Decisions Easier

Did you find ways to challenge yourself? Any opportunity to choose what’s best for you over what’s comfortable is great resilience training. However, doing what you should be doing over what you want to be doing is easier said than done. That’s why in this email I’ll share what helps me make disciplined decisions. Here are a few steps I take: 

 

First, I recognize what’s truly important or not. Family, faith, and our well-being is my top priority and what’s secondary are things like work, sports, or social media. 

 

Second, I take note 📝 how I actually spend my time and where I put my energy into. It’s easy to say family is important but it’s another to turn off the phone or not bring work home with you. So stay mindful of your actual decisions and what you spend your time on.  

 

Third, I think about what temptations make it hard for me to stay disciplined. I figure out how to limit/eliminate those temptations. Like not having treats and my favorite chips in the house, removing certain apps from my phone, or putting my phone on silent in a different room.

 

Finally, I focus my energy on what I can control and what I can do about it. I stay present and work hard to not let my mind drift to the past or worry about the future. The more you use the word can’t the more of a victim you become. Saying and even thinking the word can’t will rob you of your resilience. 

 

The last thing I want to share are some of my favorite quotes & sayings that help me to keep persevering:

  
  • Do what you have to now so you can do what you want to later. ~ Unknown 
 
  • Your future will take care of itself when you take care of today. ~ Me 😊
 
  • The 40% rule. When your brain is telling you to quit your body has only used 40% of its potential. ~ David Goggins
 
  • If you do what is easy your life will be hard. If you do what is hard your life will be easy. ~ Les Brown


Best,

Chris