Category: Blog

Hey Friend!

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh observed, “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” A few weeks into the pandemic, while on a family walk after a storm, I was reminded of this. 

I was preoccupied by cancelled plans when my daughter leapt into a giant puddle, splashing me and dirtying her shoes. As I opened my mouth to scold her, my 2-year-old erupted into laughter. In an instant, my mood shifted. Soon everyone was all stomping and playing in the puddle, immersed in simple joy.  

I realized I’d forgotten that joy can be found anywhere, anytime if we’re present enough to discover it. My kids didn’t need elaborate plans, just that puddle. Happiness comes from accepting where you are—right here, right now. This splash of perspective reminded me that mindful presence increases positive emotions.  

Though culture whispers we need more, striving blinds us to life’s enchantment. To savor the moment, connect with your senses—what do you hear, feel, smell or see? Get outside, turn off your phone, feel the wind and listen to birds.

So your challenge? Find your puddle! Accept where you are to uncover joy in the ordinary instead of pining for where you wish to be. Whether you’re on the journey of your dreams or facing setbacks, love your circumstances as they are. Happiness awaits your discovery.

Let me know what simple joys you uncover this Valentine’s Day!

Your friend,

Chris

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Hey Friend!

Do goals ever feel so intimidating that you become overwhelmed and unfocused? I certainly struggle with that from time to time. The distance left to cover starts feeling impossibly far. 

When I catch myself worrying excessively about the past or future, anxiety creeps in and forward momentum stalls. To combat this common problem and stay productive, I devised a simple tool I call the 85 | 10 | 5 rule.

In a nutshell, it works like this: 

– 85% of mental energy goes toward the present 
– 10% visualizes & plans the future  
– 5% reflects on and learns from the past

By staying grounded with the majority of my attention on the task at hand, I ward off distractions and keep making progress. The 10% future visualization both inspires my vision while also helping me plan next steps. And brief past reflection supplies wisdom to inform better decisions now. 

This ratio intentionally balances being present with proactive goal achievement. It keeps my mindset optimal to handle overwhelm and continue advancing, one step at a time. 

I don’t strictly monitor 85/10/5 every single minute. It’s more a general guideline to make sure I don’t over-worry about the past or future when the real productivity happens now. Give it a try next time you start feeling anxious or stalled!

The key is consistency—small steps forward truly do compound over time into incredible progress. As long as I keep taking the next step, I know the summit will steadily grow closer.

Your friend,

Chris

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Hey Friend!

After my injury, I hated everything my wheelchair represented initially. But only after allowing myself to fully feel and work the the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression– was I able to get to a place of acceptance, even embracing my “chair.” I now see it as my vehicle of freedom. This radically changed my heart, perspective and unlocked new possibilities for my life that I had ruled out.

I’ve realized we all have metaphorical “chairs” – parts of life we wish were different but can’t control. And while radical acceptance is the goal, getting there requires courageously facing disappointment and loss.  

We must give ourselves permission to feel the grief, to cry and process emotions in healthy ways – whether through talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or writing down what we’re feeling. The path requires entering scary spaces. Working through feelings of sadness and anger are needed to move towards acceptance.   

Choosing radical self-acceptance didn’t change my circumstance. But it provided peace, contentment, and opened up creative options I had ruled out. My disability still confines me physically, but my horizons expanded exponentially. 

I don’t know what your chair is or what feelings you need to process. But take small steps. Give those emotions space to move through you. See what happens when you surrender to reality as it is, not as you wish it was. Consider embracing your chair, using it as a vehicle for growth. 

There is freedom, joy and power in knowing you don’t need external conditions to be changed in order to live a beautiful, hope-filled life. By embracing your chair, you discover that it does not preclude possibility and purpose. Counterintuitively, your limitation can become a vehicle for growth. Not in spite of your chair, but often because of the change in perspective it brings. When you surrender the need for your circumstances to be different, creative new avenues for thriving can emerge.

Your friend,

Chris

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Hey Friend!
 

Do you ever feel like you are holding yourself back? Too often we place self-imposed limitations on ourselves. We underestimate what we are truly capable of before even trying. 
 
I remember back in college when I dropped my water bottle on the floor. I asked my sister Alex to pick it up for me. In true sisterly fashion, she refused and said, “No, you need to try getting it yourself first.” I was ticked! I was convinced I couldn’t do it, although I hadn’t even tried before… Reluctantly, I began my attempt and eventually figured out how to retrieve the bottle. I completely surprised myself! That small moment made me think – what else in my life am I holding myself back from? It gave me more confidence to try new things I had previously closed myself off to.
 
I realized that we only understand our capabilities when we dare to try. 
 
Often, our self-imposed limitations are not physical, but mental. We allow our doubts, fears, and insecurities to convince us that we can’t accomplish something before we even try. We look at a goal and only see reasons why we might fail, rather than having the courage to give it our best shot.
 
What my sister gave me that day was the gift of believing in me more than I believed in myself. Her faith in my abilities encouraged me to push past the boundaries I had set for myself. Thanks to her, I dared to try and found strength I didn’t know was there. 
 
By surrounding ourselves with supportive individuals, letting go of self-imposed limits and having courage in our abilities, we may discover our potential is far greater than we imagined.
 

Your friend,
 

Chris

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Hey Friend!
 

You know which phobia I think is one of the scariest that never makes the list? Asking for help. 

The reality is that a little assistance can help you go much further and faster. I’ll never forget the first time a stranger gave me an unsolicited push up a steep dorm hill in my wheelchair…

Exhausted halfway up the hill with no friends around, I was determined to make it alone. I hate asking anyone for help, especially people I don’t know. I always aim for total independence whenever possible. 

Gripping my wheels tightly as I slowly rolled backwards down the hill, the campus was oddly empty. I was freaked out until I heard a kind voice behind me ask, “Do you need a push?” With her help, I made it to the top.

Without that push, I would have crashed back down the hill, simply because I was too reluctant to ask for a little help. 

This experience showed me the risk we take by being too prideful to request assistance when we need it. Most of us secretly hate asking for or even accepting help because we fear vulnerability, losing control, crave independence, or worry about being an imposition. 

But needing daily assistance forced me to understand there is no shame in asking for help. It often propels you forward faster than struggling alone. We all require help at some point, and it’s okay to ask for it.

In fact, a study at Stanford University found that people underestimate others willingness to help. They also found that those who offer assistance are happier after conducting acts of kindness.

Without the help of others, I never could have graduated, married my wife, written books, or become a professional speaker. I’m living proof that humbly asking for a push when you need one, with sincere gratitude, is a hidden power that can help you achieve your biggest dreams.
 

Your friend,
 

Chris

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Hey Friend!
 
I want to share a powerful lesson on gratitude that I learned during the early days of my spinal cord injury recovery. It was 6 weeks after my injury, while still in the hospital, that I experienced a true Thanksgiving miracle. 
 
Just a week before the holiday, I woke up feeling some faint sensation in my left big toe. Thrilled, I told my doctor, a senior neurologist at the Mayo Clinic, expecting encouragement. Instead, he coldly dismissed it as a phantom feeling, telling me, “You will never move your legs again.” I was crushed. 
 
Yet I refused to accept his verdict. I recommitted to my therapy with new passion. And then on Thanksgiving morning, the impossible happened – I successfully wiggled the very same toe that buzzkill doctor said I would never move again! Oh, how I wished Doctor Phantom could have been there to see it. 
 
In that moment, the significance was profound. Something as small as a toe wiggle filled me with immense gratitude. It taught me that gratitude isn’t limited to life’s grand blessings. It can be found anywhere, anytime, if we open our eyes to appreciate life’s little miracles. 
 
This Thanksgiving, I hope we can all tap into this mindset. Our lives are filled with so much distraction, envy, and discontentment that we often miss the abundance of reasons, big and small, to give thanks. But the capacity for gratitude lives within us all. We need only the will to find it. 
 
Wishing you all a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving!
 
Your friend,
   
Chris

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Hey Friend!
 
A question I often get asked is “How do you find peace with the things you can’t change?”
 
For me personally, I wish I could change my paralysis to play volleyball with my girls or toss my son in the pool. Yet this longing doesn’t take away my joy.
 
This strength comes from acceptance. Without it, I would haunt myself with “what ifs”, constantly thinking about how life could be different and robbing me of fully experiencing life’s beauty in the present moment.  
 
Acceptance means acknowledging what we can’t change and focusing our energy on what we can influence. It’s embracing who we are and the circumstances life has given us, rather than wasting energy rejecting reality or wishing it was different.
 
True acceptance is not weakness but meekness. It’s an act of courage, confronting what pains us head on and leaning into it rather than avoiding discomfort. By doing this I’m able to pivot to see life as it is in the present, untainted by judgment, resentment, or comparisons. I’m then able to focus on the limitless possibilities within my reach right now.
 
Acceptance provides the foundation to build inner peace, empowerment, and taking inspired action. With acceptance, we stop fighting reality and instead flow with life and get busy creating. 
 
Know that acceptance is an ongoing journey that takes deep patience and compassion for ourselves. It’s not a destination we reach once and for all – it’s the gift we give ourselves each day to find resilience and peace on this human journey.
 
Though the path of acceptance is often hard, may you find strength to walk it. Share below – how do you practice acceptance in your life? What helps you on the journey?
 
 
Your friend,
   
Chris

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Hey Friend!
 
I have noticed a striking difference between pre-injury and post injury life… People are kinder to me. We are capable of being so much more compassionate to one another. This story from a few years back exemplifies this perfectly. 
 
My friend and I were at our gate waiting for our flight to a conference I was speaking at. To kill the time, my friend asked to use my wheelchair while we waited. It was an unusual ask but nonetheless thought it would be entertaining. He transferred me to a seat while he wheeled around. 
 
When it was getting close to time to board, I asked if he’d speak to the gate agent to see if we could get as close to the front of the plane as possible, which makes it much easier for me to board. He happily rolled over and secured our ideal spots.
 
Shortly after, as we boarded, the gate agent saw my friend standing. She had a very puzzled and startled look. She was able to quickly put it together; she wasn’t witnessing a miracle, but simply a Houdini switcheroo. Bothered, she said, “I thought you were in a wheelchair! I was so nice to you!”
 
Since my injury, I’ve witnessed people’s capacity for kindness. But it often takes visible challenges to draw that out. But most burdens are invisible – grief, depression, heartache. We withhold kindness until we see tangible need.
 
Yet empathy is a choice. I wish we extended grace without requiring suffering to deserve it. We all face hidden battles. 
 
So offer kindness to all, regardless of appearance. Seek to understand invisible struggles. 
 
Kindness is a language we all need. By choosing it consistently, we build a more compassionate world. Our humanity thrives when we lead with gentle hearts.
 

Your friend,
   
Chris

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